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The Pizzeria Test


In Napoli, the pizzeria is where the soul is laid bare. Forget star signsโ€ฆ tell me what you order, and I’ll tell you exactly who you are.

So, purely in the name of research (and a bit of fun), let’s put the cast of Loveandpizza.it to the test. Same table, same menu, four very different people. Here’s what they’d order – and what it gives away.

Carolina: the Margherita, no menu required

Here’s the funny thing about Carolina: give her a life decision – her career, her future, whether she’s made a terrible mistake – and she’ll agonise for weeks. Give her a pizza menu, and there’s no hesitation at all. Margherita. Every time. She won’t even open the menu. Because a proper Margherita, done right, is perfection. And Carolina is a purist. She wants the real thing, no fuss, no showing off. It might be the one decision in her whole life she’s completely sure of. (And yes, she’s already thinking about something chocolate for after. Priorities.)  Turns out she’s not the only one at this table with strong feelings about a Margheritaโ€ฆ but we’ll get to him. ๐Ÿ˜

A traditional Neapolitan Margherita pizza at 7 Soldi pizzeria in Naples
A real Margherita from 7 Soldi in Napoli – my actual local pizzeria when I lived there, and yes, it sneaks into the novel too. Some places are too good not to borrow. ๐Ÿ•(Photo from personal files)

Lisa: whatever’s weirdest, and half of yours

Lisa doesn’t hover. Lisa points at the strangest thing on the menu: the one with ‘nduja, or friarielli, or whatever the pizzaiolo swears by that day – and says “that one.” She orders like she lives: all in, no hesitation, “let’s just try it.” (This is a woman who once ordered a chocolate beer. On purpose. But then hated it.) She’ll also steal a slice of yours – and be, infuriatingly, right that hers is better. ๐Ÿ˜

Luca: he’ll order for the table (you didn’t get a say)

Luca won’t open the menu either, but for entirely different reasons. He’ll wave the waiter over, mention he knows the owner, and order for everyone“trust me, you’ll love it” – something expensive enough to make a point. It’s less about the pizza and more about being the man who Handles It. Did anyone ask what you wanted? They did not. But the wine is excellent, and he’s already found a way to work his own brilliance into the conversation, so you almost don’t notice. Almost. 

Fabrizio: the Margherita (and don’t get him started)

Ask Fabrizio his order and he’ll say Margherita. But where Carolina orders hers with easy certainty, Fabrizio orders his like a man with opinions. Because to him, a proper Margherita isn’t just dinner. It’s the whole philosophy: the sweet and the sharp, the pleasure and the ache, the simple thing done so perfectly it undoes you. Get him talking about tomato, mozzarella, olive oil, and that quiet man suddenly has rather a lot to say. (He knows suspiciously much about how a good pizza should be madeโ€ฆ but that’s a story for another day. ๐Ÿ˜)

So there they are: four people, one table, and four little confessions. (Including, it turns out, two very different kinds of love for the very same Margheritaโ€ฆ ๐Ÿ˜) Because what you order says more about you than you’d think – and nobody at a Napoli table is ever really talking about the food.

Now it’s your turn, and be honest: what’s your pizzeria order, and what does it give away about you? ๐Ÿ‘‡ (I’m a Margherita-no-menu-needed myselfโ€ฆ and if youโ€™re eating a pizza in Napoli, please do me a favour and donโ€™t order anything different, ok? Youโ€™ll thank me later. Though I’ll always check whether they do one with cream and sweetcorn. Don’t judge me. ๐Ÿ˜„)

Dani. x

P.S. Loveandpizza.it is coming back in English, Italian and Portuguese. Save your slice and you’ll be first to know the moment your edition’s ready. ๐Ÿ•

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7 Comments

  1. Patricia Thomson says:

    Thank you for sharing! I am hungry for pizza right now!

  2. The one that has the most protein (whether that’s meat and/or cheese), please!

    If I want to p*** people off, I will order Hawaiian… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. It’s a good thing I just had dinner, otherwise your post would kill me.
    I am not surprised Carolina likes her Margherita, and Lisa goes for the extravagant version just for the heck of it. So she ordered a chocolate beer? Keep your eyes open, in one of my upcoming posts I will talk about a most exotic kind of soda that Lisa might like ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Love this! Yes, I am a margherita pizza eater when I am feeling full of myself and want to show my classy side (lol!). However, when it comes to ordering take out pizza, my go-to is Hawaiian — pineapple and Canadian bacon only — the pizza you order when you want comfort, knowing that everyone else hates it and you can have the pizza all to yourself!

  5. Well I’m with Iku and Angie, I love Hawaiian pizza! And I get to eat the entire pizza because no one else likes it! LOL

  6. When I have pizza I will order either a Margherita or, I can hear the gasps now, a Hawaiian – yes, pineapple does belong on pizza!

  7. Ack! I thought I was spelling Fabrizio wrong in my other comment. Well, I like Italian sausage and pepperoni, as long as the sausage is not too too spicy, just medium spicy. If the pizzeria has that – I’m all over it. And btw, I noticed that there are two people who like the same pizza. As that guy from Laugh In used to say – very interesting!

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