What Carolina Won’t Admit

(Day 10 of 30 – story crumbs from the world of Loveandpizza.it 🍕)

If there’s one thing Carolina, the heroine of Loveandpizza.it, wants you to believe, it’s that she’s completely fine. Ask her and she’ll tell you it’s all an adventure, that she’s got it handled, that she is, say it with me: completely done with love. And honestly? She’s very convincing.

She’s also, deep down, full of things she’d never say out loud. Here are five of them. (She’d deny every one. Don’t tell her I told you.) 

1. She’s terrified she made the wrong call.

Being a doctor, leaving, all of it. She’ll frame the move to Napoli as brave, spontaneous, fun – and it is, don’t get us wrong. It’s also, if she’s honest (which she isn’t), a little bit of running away. And somewhere under the sunshine, there’s a small voice going: what if you’ve got this completely wrong?

2. “I’m done with love” is the biggest lie she tells.

Mostly to herself. Carolina is a hopeless romantic wearing a suit of armour two sizes too big, insisting she doesn’t feel the cold. The armour is very convincing. It is also, tragically, made of paper.

3. She desperately wants to be seen.

Not managed. Not decided for. Not told what she thinks. Just… seen. Properly, the way you’d read a favourite book. She’d never say it. But it’s the thing she’s most starving for. (Keep that one in your back pocket. It’ll matter later.)

4. She misses home more than she lets on.

Her mum’s voice. The language that fits her mouth without trying. The sisters. The particular smell of a Sunday. She’ll change the subject if you bring it up, but some evenings, Napoli feels very far from everything she knows.

5. Lisa knows all of the above.

And that is, simultaneously, the greatest comfort of Carolina’s life and deeply annoying. You can’t hide from a friend like Lisa. Carolina has tried. It has never once worked. 

---

That’s the thing about Carolina – and, I suspect, about most of us. The bravest people are often the ones quietly holding a whole list like this, smiling, ordering another coffee.

So, in the spirit of Carolina (and no judgement here at all): what’s one thing about you that you’d never admit out loud? Whisper it in the comments… or don’t. She’d understand either way. 

Dani. x

P.S. Loveandpizza.it is coming back in English, Italian and Portuguese. Save your slice and you’ll be first to know the moment your edition’s ready. 🍕